"Worship Allah and join I'm catholic I know there is no dating accepted in Islam. The prophet[saww] said a man should fulfill that which makes the genitals lawfull. Just repent in hope that it will be accepted inshaAllah before you marry, renew your intentions and dont worry what the people say, coz one thing i learnt is that u can never please the people but u can please Allah s.w.t. What about the parents who died? The relationship must continue until the harmony family created. But first, let me do right by You, because there is no one or nothing more important than You!". This would apply to your parents as well! It is why it becomes to seek forgiveness, repentance, etc., is keys of her conversion, and of the past from those sins. 1. There is a standard, also in Islam. When parents make decisions that are not good for children, their actions become toxic to the life of the child. Rather than be sad for such people, we should be happy that they are on the path, seeking truth, coming closer and closer to Allah. Men can come and go, through separation, divorce and death, but Allah's (swt) Love always remains. The only acceptance he needs is from the women he wants to marry (you) and the acceptance of your wali (guardian) and this guardian must be a muslim man and of good character i.e your local imam at your mosque. This prayer was said by Prophet Ibrahim when he was quite old. Allah Has placed the respect for the parents just one step below the belief in Allah and true worship of Him. Allah specified old age because that is when people find their parents annoying. MUSA (A.S) was welcomed by the youth, and he entered. And with that your relationship with this man might work out the right way inshaAllaah. " One of the most essential aspects of Islam is the love and respect for parents. rev2023.3.3.43278. So therefore he should end this unlawfull relationship you are indulged in, and make you halal for him. 1. This is an excellent and important question. Lastly, I will address your questions as the end, but I will modify them to show you a different perspective. I apologize for not emphasizing that point, confusing the matter or parlaying it incorrectly. I contacted the alim who told me this and he remains of the Islamic opinion that the oppressive sins of the self will be forgiven, but the oppressive sins towards others must be reconciled in some way if the oppression continues after taking shahada. Children usually end up not caring about their parents' wishes and not listening to them despite the parents' mercy and patience towards the children. Children tend to find them annoying when they are old, forgetting that this mother was never annoyed by us when we were totally dependant on her and she stayed up all night to take care of our needs and gave up her comfort zone willingly to raise us. Hence the term "Abrahamic faiths." In this counseling answer: You can advise your parents with respect and politeness, using non-accusatory language. These are the rights of your parents still due to you, even after them. (Bukhari). Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: Your mother. The man asked: Then who? So He (PBUH) replied: Your mother. The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet (PBUH) replied again: Your mother. The man then asked: Then who? So He (SAW) replied: Then your father. [Sahih Bukhari]. Islam Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for Muslims, experts in Islam, and those interested in learning more about Islam. ALLAH has commanded us to be nice to parents and to stop disrespecting them in many verses. Allah and [for] the oppressed among men, women, and children who say, For this I am in distress and in need of help! First, establish love with Allah (swt), commit to Him by refraining from forbidden actions, including dating, and reform yourself accordingly. That what resides in the heart at the time of shahada is seeking forgiveness and a desire to repent of the past life. dont talk too much or too little.hope it all goes well and works out for you. Should parents not be expected to understand their children and put themselves in their childs shoes? In the case of families or oppressive parents, neighbors or other Muslims should try to speak to the oppressive parent to stop their behavior. They have to share each other and pray for the best. That while sins can be forgiven from the past, the person should not return to them while they were first in the total state of humility and submission so that they are forgiven. keep in mind that if he is placing this whole responsibility on you than he is looking for a way out himself. This wasnt the degree that he studied, but in his opinion, people in this field of study earn more income than their peers and he wanted to see me successful. 5 Reasons Why I am A Muslim From My Heart, 9 Gratitude Teachings from the Quran and Sunnah, 3 Spiritual and Emotional Benefits of Seeking Istighfar. He admonishes God willing she will meet with you and see that your motivation is sincere and from the heart. Linfield University abruptly suspended mens basketball coach Shanan Rosenberg after he spoke back to a parent who apparently heckled him during two team So if you did not find justice in this life, there certainly will be justice in the next. The man asked again, Then who else? Parents are also entitled to get word from their children, especially if children live far apart from parents. She doesn't want to meet me but he says she's going to have to so I can explain my side. But my concern is I've met this guy, he is Muslim, at work. The point is the duty and rights of parents to the child and vice versa is the same. Do you want to understand the Quran in Arabic? A man does not need permission from his parents to marry a woman in islam, he is his own wali (guardian) to himself. Difficulties with estimation of epsilon-delta limit proof. Parents just have to strive towards being better and children should be patient. But the Quran in no way condones abusive behavior from any person, especially not to a vulnerable person such as a child. And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. Enter your details to download and enjoy Quran Companion, the smartest way to memorize the Quran for busy people. And you will find yourself happy to lead your life according to His Book (the Qur'an). As a result, it is apparent that both of his parents were devout Christians and monotheists. Maybe he is hesitant for whatever reason, but it's not a genuine excuse to commit a sin when Allah (swt) has given him the means to marry you and through that, he could have taken every day since as a blessing and a way for the both of you to worship God through your marriage. The most beautiful gift from a child to his parents is dua. They are Prophet SULIMAN (R.A) and Prophet Ibrahim (R.A) SULIMAN (R.A). Following Hadith also states the importance of mother more than father: Once a man came to the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and said: O Messenger of Allah! You see, when you sin in Ramadhan, you must make up the fast, feed the appropriate number of poor people and make amends for the disobedience to Allah (swt). Freedom comes first. As a result, we must be careful not to use such insulting interjections when conversing with our parents. My question is his parents don't want him to date so they don't know nothing about me. Then he asked the young man, "Do you not want a guest?" Holy Quran 16:90 May Allah be with you and get your love. I was upset, because this is something that hit close to home. One last aya about the eternal consequences of committing injustice (and abuse is certainly a form of injustice: Holy Quran 20:111 Professor X, you've given much excellent advice here as usual, but there are a couple of things I need to correct. Indeed the pleasure of Allah is under the pleasure of your parents, especially mothers. 13 Ways on How to Deal with Disobedient 20 Importance of A Mother in Islam You 17 Rights of Siblings in Islam Obligations, 20 Fathers Rights in Islam After Divorce. It employs qualitative analyses of interviews with highly religious parents and adolescents representing the Abrahamic faiths (Christianity, Judaism, Islam) from New England and Northern California. Your email address will not be published. To sit with ones back towards the parents. However, when it comes to making up days, there are specific things that void the fast and require a person to make up the lost days. As a child, we must take time to give news to parents. It is an interjection rather than a term that expresses the individual's dislike for his or her parents. ASSALAAMU ALIKUM WARAHMATULLAH WABARAKATUHU, Your email address will not be published. For Allaah took Abraham for a friend." The Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam has said in his hadith. 6.Not listening to trouble-makers who try to cause problems between a man and his family, or who hate to see a family united, for they are malicious gossips who commit major sins. Concerning the last narration: Amr Ibn Al-Aas narrates, When Islam entered my heart, I went to the Messenger of Allah and said: Give me your hand so that I may pledge allegiance to you. The Prophet spread his hand, but I withdrew mine. But the act of oppression is associated with denying someone their rights. If you feel that you can have a better relationship with your mother from a long distance, then distancing yourself from her would be rewarding for you in sha Allah. My comment just completely went over your head didnt it I said, That Allah will forgive me. Then the Messenger of Allah said, Did you not know that Islam wipes out what came before it, and that Hijrah wipes out what came before it and that Hajj wipes out what came before it! (Muslim: 121)(Narrated by Imaam Ahmad, 17159). I say this as a person who has seen Christian/Muslim couples struggle through their lives and Christians who have been hurt by Muslim who should have put the rights choices before their own desires. Islam is about self care. You should receive an email from us to confirm your email address. Aktham ibn Sayfi said: If you live further away from one another you will have greater love for one another.. Vouchsafe us comfort of our wives and of our offspring, and make us patterns for (all) those who ward off (evil). Parents will come around, they always do, how can they resist being involved in their childs life? Say to those who have disbelieved, if they cease (from disbelief), their past will be forgiven. (Quran 8:38), Prophet Muhammad, may God praise him, said: God will accept His slaves repentance so long as the death rattle has not yet reached his throat., The Prophet said to a person who had placed the condition upon the Prophet in accepting Islam that God would forgive his sins: Do you not know that accepting Islam destroys all sins which come before it? (Saheeh Muslim). And whatever you do of good indeed, Allah is Knowing of it.(Verse 2: 215). on a lighter note, dress appropriately but dont over do it. "Allah (swt,) I'm not being fake and I want to convert. And I also have read the narration that Amr ibn Aas was asking the Prophet (saw) to pray for forgiveness for his behalf as a condition of the allegiance, but I do not have any hadith books in front of me to read it, so if anyone could provide the correct narration, I would appreciate it. for us from Yourself a protector and appoint for us from Yourself a Women Honored in the Holy Quran Part 4: Khawlah bint Thalaba (RA), Hadith #2: Hadith of Jibreel A.S [Part III]. However, the question is also asked, because Amr ibn Al-Aas was not a Christian or a Jew, beforehand, as I am aware of, but an idol worshiper. What did the woman suggest the man to do? As a result, he approached the young person and questioned. Due to MUSA (A.S) said, Your mother's prayer has been granted, and you are now my eternal companion.". InshaAllah, by the end of the 7-day Quranic Arabic Challenge, you will build a solid foundation to deepen your relationship with the Quran, feel more connected in your Salah, and ultimately become closer to Allah SWT. Read more aboutImportance of A Mother in Islam, Such have guidance from their Lord. This is to understand that part upon which Allah's (swt) Forgiveness is manifested. In this sense, it was almost better that you weren't Muslim, because it seems that you would have to make up the whole month of fasting, if you were. Believe me once you are on theright track you will see things differently. , And what is [the matter] with you that you fight not in the cause of It may be that like all of us, they are humans who are trying to navigate life in the best way that they know how to. Regarding previous sins, even with the verses quoted and hadith given (I think the first hadith isn't in opposition to what I wrote), there has been room for discussion on this matter with several scholars about it. Keep Showing Respect. Help me. To abuse ones parents is also a major sin. He was asked, Can anyone abuse his parents? Yes, the Prophet replied, If a person abused someone elses parents and that person, in retaliation, abused his parents, then it is as though he himself had abused his parents. (Bukhari and Muslim). Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. WebYes parents are to be respected, but not all parents are good parents. ASSALAAMU ALAIKUM WARAHMATULLAH WABARAKATUHU I wouldnt worry too much at all if i were you, id be more concerned about guarding yourselves from falling into major sins. 15 Ways on How to Deal with Controlling 20 Ways How to Deal with Abusive Father 5 Benefits of Duha Prayer Muslim Should Aware, 5 Best Deeds in the Eyes of Allah Most Muslims can Apply, 5 Precious Benefits of Reciting Subhanallah You can Apply, 5 Good Deeds That Have the Same Reward as Hajj. Hope that helped inshaAllah, Surely it may seem difficult to do, but it's the right step to take. You will notice blessings and be much more aware of Allaah's presence all around you inshaAllaah. Disconnect between goals and daily tasksIs it me, or the industry? 3) To speak in a voice louder than the parents. ", "Allah (swt), I trust that whatever happens, You will do what is right. Provide a living for parents if the child is able. It's true that someone who commits sins during Ramadan (lying, stealing, cheating, backbiting, missing prayers, etc) is performing an imperfect fast, and only Allah knows whether it would be accepted. Ameen! His mother carried him with difficulty and delivered him with difficulty. Further parental rights, parents are entitled to be treated in old age. Then it is said to him that this is due to your righteous sons sincerity. Is it mere trials and tribulations, or is it also a humbling of the soul to ask for forgiveness of who we were and what we did, so as to purify the soul and attain a high status in Heaven. There are times when we as a child argue with their parents. And he will have failed who carries injustice. 2- They should have a sound reason for doing so. You should have your co-worker with you when you tell your boss what you think of him. Ghibah [] is a word derived from the root word Ghaib Abusive behavior is also dereliction of responsibility. (I use the car) -rent? Accept all of what Allah (swt) wants for you and then follow His Right Path. Maybe the Imam at your local masjid? So you would have to ask for forgiveness of that sin, since it was God's law at the time, as is the case with Islam. -petrol? Even saying uff to our parents is inappropriate. just say the shahada , inshallah you will never regret.thats 100% for sure. Below here is the following hadith. Understand their Position. But if they urge you to associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, then do not obey them. What will we do if our parents are in another religion? Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], uff, and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.. i think you are already a muslim, as you are praying and trying to know islam like all of us( muslims) . A.M: Is a PhD visitor considered as a visiting scholar? I am a 28 year old female who, unfortunately, feels dead inside due to all the restrictions my parents place on me, their manipulative behaviour towards me in order to control my every move and thought, and due to the difficulty we are presented with in being normal people whilst doing our best to please not only religious requirements but cultural ones too. If his mother is not pleased with this, then her displeasure will be friutless. Yet again excellent reply by Brother Professor X MashaAllaah. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Honor them both your father and mother even though they are elderly. Hello! When there's probability of one establishing a friendship with Even if you become Muslim, you will still have to ask for forgiveness for these previous sins of dating. Instead, he should temper her reactions and protect you from it, as well, if this was the case of being true. It is indeed more common for children to take their parents for granted. For example, Ibrahim AS loved his father but respectfully distanced himself from his dad and left him because the father was harming Ibrahim and his faith and even threatened to stone him. [Sahih Muslim (2558)]. ", Please note that I heard this in a different language and I may have mistranslated the word 'abuse' but the meaning is more or less the same hence the reasoning behind my query. The secret lies in the purity of the shahada itself and the frame of mind. | About Islam She died before becoming Muslim, can I pray for her? It also includes oppression of someone under ones authority or control, which would include parents. More than anything, make a commitment to Allah (swt) to cleanse yourself and your sincerity by stopping the act of dating this man. The Prophet was asked about the great sins. Asalaamalaikum (peace be with you) dear sister, It upsets me because I think Allah would never hold my mother accountable for damaging me like this but rather turn it on me for daring to think ill of her. Encourage your husband or wife to respect your parents, especially the mothers. Sometimes, parents are only adults who are also trying to figure out Anyone who knows his or her parents has a promise or a debt, as our child must help solve it. May ALLAH SUBHANU WATA AALA ease your problem ,and any body facing similar sort of difficulties Aameen. Maybe it will work if you tried to convince your father that choosing a university outside of your home city will help your chances of getting good jobs or internship placements, for example? Talking behind patients' back to their doctor when they don't like it. Mother will not let me become a commerical pilot because I am a girl! From comprehending what has been written, the Ramadhan fast also relies upon the purity of intention, from my understanding. A child, especially married, you should still treat parents well. I cannot offer you the best of advice but what i would like to say is do not worry when you go to see his mother. ASSALAAMU ALAIKUM WRAHMATULLAH WABARAKATUHU Quran and seerah provide examples of dealing with harmful and controlling parents. I have often read, even on this website, that when you become Muslim from Judaism and Christianity, that your slate is wiped clean, but this is not true. What happens if a child is disobedient to a parent? While I have seen 'cease (disbelief),' I have also seen 'cease (from persecution of believers).' We want you to go as a pure person towards Allah (swt) and that is why I will write what I feel you need to read. Again it resides in intention and that is why the new revert/convert would seek forgiveness of past deeds, done privately to Allah (swt) in their heart. Parents have a right to educate and Its their right to get it. Below here Allah says in the Quran. Abu Huraira reported that a person said: Allah's Messenger, I have relatives with whom I try, to have close relationship, but they sever (this relation). Asma bint Abu Bakr (RA) relates that her mother had come to Madinah, from Makkah, to meet her Her mother followed the Pagan customs and beliefs, so Asma (RA) enquired from the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam as how she was to treat her what she should have nothing to do with her, as she was a Pagan, or treat her as a daughter should, and show her kindness to her The Prophet told her to be kind and considerate and behave towards her as a mothers due, from a daughter. For that, we must not forget those pliers have taken care of us. Here Allah says in the Quran. Rather he should complain to others about this, such as other family members or members of his community. To subscribe to this RSS feed, copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader. Say to those who have disbelieved, if they cease (from disbelief), their past will be forgiven. (Quran 8:38) Prophet Muhammad, may God praise him, said: God will Regeneration will continue if parents have been old. My parents were impatient to get me married off., I hate being attracted to women, and have sworn to Allah that I will never get married. What about when they ask us to do ridiculous things? (72) And those who, when they are reminded of the revelations of their Lord, fall not deaf and blind thereat. Acidity of alcohols and basicity of amines. In the Quran, there are two prophets who have prayed for their parents. Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire whereof the fuel is men and stones, over which are set angels strong, severe, who resist not Allah in that which He commandeth them, but do that which they are commanded. (Verse 66:6). It is a new beginning, where ones past sins can no longer hold a person captive. I think I'm very late but here is what I have to say: Cheated on my boyfriend, want to convert to Islam. I know- it definitely can sting the heart when someone oppressed thinks of showing kindness towards the person who abused them, but righteousness is to overcome that, as pointed out above. A child could take some measures against the parents abuse without insulting or acting hostile to them. Allaah promises you His forgivness and bounties. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! When we talk of tolerating parents excesses, showing them kindness, etc., we should understand that in some situations, there may be the need to speak out and seek the help of non-family members in resolving issues. With best wishes May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions! Lo! Let Allah (swt) be your focus, Insha'allah. Quran provides general guidelines for certain things and specific guidelines for more reccuring events. Or a respected uncle who can mediate with your parents? Erm, if Allah (SWT) eased everyones problems just because people prayed to Him for Him to do so, wed all be living cushty lives and not be tested in any way. Virus-free. My husband is cheating on me with no remorse, what should I do? Hence it is very important to make it clear that we cannot even say uff to them. Allah says (what means): And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Someone came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, O Messenger of Allah, to whom should I serve first? if you do not see any texts on proper parenting then you are not looking hard enough. I am a new mother so I know what I am talking about. Allah commands us to respect and love our parents by respecting them, honoring their opinions, and dealing them with love and gentleness. Our prophet Muhammed said, 'There is no better cure for two who love each other than marriage' and 'when a man comes to you and proposes and u are satisfied with his religion and character then marry him or there will be wide corruption spread upon the earth'. "Congratulations!" Also, please spread the word about Quran Companion and inspire others to memorize Quran Insha'Allah by clicking the share buttons below. As a parent, I have come to understand that despite our best efforts, we should recognize that sometimes we make some decisions that may be serving our own purposes rather than that of the child. If this feeling is really in your heart, then it's time to convert/revert to Islam. Allah is making children conscious of their parents sacrifices esp those of the mother's. By clicking Accept all cookies, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. And whats better for you in the Sight of Allah, not marrying and falling into sin? So the parents who harmed their children either physically or emotionally will have to answer to Allah () about this. He replied, Your mother. My mother, now deceased, was extremely abusive of me, not in the traditional sense in that she beat me and was an alcoholic, but she abused me psychologically and emotionally so that it's had severe repercussions on my life, both personal and social, ever since. Are my stepsisters feelings and actions justified? How should I dress? It's allowed when: Consulting about marriage. Behind someone's back that sin in public shamelessly. A presidential candidate or other kinds of can Not only that though, but it's what you miss by sinning in this month that is quite sad: Allah's (swt) invitation to one of the greatest acts of purification and reform of the body and soul. Musab ibn Umayr literally had to escape the control of his affluent mother. MUSA (A.S) didn't understand what the old woman was saying.
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